“How many years can some people exist before they can be free... How many times can a man turn his head and pretend he just doesn't see?” The lyrics of Blowin' in the Wind hits the painful feeling when our dignity is stifled by unbearable fear. Tim O'Brien's short story “On the Rainy River” explores the idea that we cannot follow our hearts in the face of terror. Through his experiences, O'Brien suggests that when our insecurity clashes with our self-respect, our moral conscience is often torn to pieces until we are left with no choice but to accept the unforgiving reality with a desperate heart.A society , a place, an attitude, an expectation: all of these contribute to a character's response to threatening forces. Tim's insecurity flares during the Cold War, where the world shatters into two extreme ideologies and “certain blood [comes forth]. ] paid for uncertain reasons”. Tim remains “politically naive” until one day a draft notice ends up in his pocket. He is drafted to "fight a war he [hates]": the Vietnam War. Confusion, anger, exasperation freeze his mind: why me? I'm not a hero! I'm too good! I hate wars! But they all dissolve into a “silent howl” in his head. Tim's summer job at a meatpacking plant allows him to imagine himself as a soldier. “Standing for eight hours a day in a shower of warm blood,” holding an enormous water gun, he “[removed] blood clots from the necks of dead pigs.” The carcasses and blood conjure up disturbing images of brutal and merciless battles in his mind. His body trembles and sweat pours down his face, as if he is torturing political enemies, and their blood splatters everywhere for absurd reasons. When he returns home, Tim is irritated by the unpleasant odor that “…… middle of paper …… er, leaving only a quiet mind to believe that the burden of life is more important than his dignity. He manages to overcome his insecurity and accepts the obligation to go to Vietnam. Tim calls himself a coward, a soldier who finds the courage to fight in the “wrong war.” Through his experience, O'Brien develops the idea that self-respect erodes like a stone in a river of self-doubt. No matter how much O'Brien tries to convince himself that he must listen to his conscience, he is unable to retreat from his burden. He could die in the wrong war! It could become one of the carcasses in the slaughterhouse! But he has to do what he has to do. In life, when we believe that self-respect is right, we are determined to follow our heart. However, when we encounter oppressive situations, we will not swim away from our insecurity, because “[we are] cowards, [we] go to war”.