Many people have a misunderstanding about what gossip is. They believe it's when you talk badly about someone who isn't in the conversation. Gossip has many definitions and, again, it all depends on how you would like to interpret it. According to Tannen, gossip does not necessarily have to be against, but can also be a topic of discussion. This can be secrets or rumors, among other things. Plus, you can also be the one to gossip with your friends, keeping them updated on what's happening in your personal life. It also helps form relationships and trust with other people. Deborah Tannen focuses on this topic in chapter 4 of her book, which states that gossip mostly happens between women and that men don't like to gossip. He then goes on to explain that men don't like to gossip, they just like to talk about news and solve their problems. Men like to protect their status and, conversely, women like to share in detail the intimate things that happen to their friends. Furthermore, it also explains that women are the ones who gossip and men are the ones who try to make small talk that serves a great purpose. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essay While reading Tannen explains that women are the most caring/concerned ones in most situations. In one example he gave was where a couple had broken up and the woman was the one who was the most affected and sulking about the problem while the men went out with her friends and quickly moved on. This is where the woman connects with her friends and starts gossiping about the situation paying close attention and they come together to help the only friend get over the breakup. In this case it shows that men value their independence and women value the intimacy of their relationship. When women want something fixed, they want to talk about it and have a basic understanding. The woman expresses understanding and establishes similarities and matching experiences to start a conversation. For example, in the chapter paragraph titled "Matching Problems" Eleanor explains to Patsy that she has fallen in love with a married man and Patsy acknowledges her situation, ensures that she knows she understands and then continues to share her experience and finally brings the conversation back to Eleanor and apologizes for sharing her experience and confirming the similarity of experiences and encouraging Patsy to share more. Women will establish similarities and corresponding experiences to make conversation. The cross-cultural language between men and women and the way each expresses the same situation differently can cause conflict between them. Women often complain that when they share things with men they often don't listen because they don't pay much attention to details, they don't make eye contact and their body language says a lot. But the same way women expect a reaction from a guy through body language doesn't mean he's not listening. Guys have different ways of dealing with situations when it comes to gossip and don't really show emotions but as stated earlier, men don't show emotions because they are convinced that it is a characteristic of women. I agree with this statement because when I share things with my friends I want them to look at me while I talk to know that they are paying attention. When their attention is focused elsewhere and I notice it, I get angry and stop telling my story. Then they give me their attention and tell me to continue with my story, they always paid attention but they have.