Topic > Rites of passage during various stages of life

IndexIntroductionBodyConclusionIntroductionRites of passage are a ceremony or event that marks an important stage in someone's life. It usually refers to birth, or even the ceremony for the transition from childhood to adulthood, marriage and death. The rite of passage is also a way to divide a person's life into “before” and “after” and an entire system involving rites organizes life into phases (Grimes, 2000). In every society, individuals experience different types of rites of passage depending on their culture or religion. Furthermore, in rites of passage there are three different forms and attributes that mark the different transition of an individual's life. The first phase is the pre-liminal phase, where the focus is on separation from the norm or before the liminal phase. The second phase is the liminal phase where it focuses on the transition due to the rites of passage. The final stage is the post liminal stage where an individual returns to the norms of society but has a new status of their own. This is supported by Thomassen (2009) where he highlighted the importance of transitions in any society where he used Van Gennep's idea of ​​rites of passage as a "special category, composed of three subcategories, namely rites of separation , rites of transition and rites of incorporation”. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get an original essay Body In every Malay Muslim society in Brunei, most of the people go through a series of events when they get married. It is as simple as it sounds because there are certain customs and beliefs that need to be adhered to. The rites of passage of a Malaysian Muslim wedding usually consist of several events as a result which are merisik ( survey), bertunang (engagement), pre-wedding course, nikah (solemnity ceremony) and bersanding (wedding ceremony), the individual experiences different stages of feelings in life since the transition from being the child of one's parents to being the husband or wife of another person is certainly an overwhelming feeling. Therefore this essay will focus on how an individual goes through the rites of passage of their marriage, particularly based on their experience as a witness to a cousin's Malaysian Muslim wedding. This essay will also include pre-liminal phase, liminal phase and also post-liminal phase which will be elaborated further in the essay. The woman had recently celebrated her wedding last September and followed some Malaysian wedding customs. Before proceeding with the bertunang (engagement), her family decided to wait for the man to go to the woman's house for an event called merisik. Merisik is part of a wedding custom in which a representative of the male side - called a wakil - visits the woman's house with the man's other group of family members. This is part of the pre-wedding formality and preparation. The only purpose is to get an idea of ​​the woman's status, if she is still single and is not another person's girlfriend. This is due to the fact that it is not allowed to ask for a hand in marriage if the woman is already engaged. Hence, merisik plays a vital role in knowing the true status of the woman. The purpose of the merisik is purely to obtain the consent of the woman's parents. Apart from that, it serves to gain further information about the woman's background and also to interact with future family members. At a merisik event, the woman is only allowed to remain in her room while the event is taking place. The parents and other elders of the family will speak on behalf of the woman. During the merisik event some discussions were made, such asdiscuss the day on which the engagement date will be held, the amount of dowry to be given to the woman and also the number of dulang hantaran or gift trays to be given during the merisik event. ceremony. In this phase, the woman is the pre-liminal phase where the woman is in a separation phase from being single to being “booked” by the man's family. So this marks the beginning of the woman's rites of passage. However, the woman is not yet officially declared the man's fiancée until the engagement ceremony begins, so there is a sense of loss of identity for the woman. After agreeing to a certain arrangement during merisik, a betrothal ceremony is held as a sign that they are “unified” together. During the "majlis bertunang" or engagement ceremony, trays of gifts are exchanged between the man and the woman. The agreed dowry was also brought to the woman's home. Apart from this, a gold ring is also carried. In this ceremony, only immediate and extended families usually participate in the event because in a Malay Muslim society it is advisable that not many people participate in the ceremony. The woman is told to stay in her room before she is finally proclaimed engaged, which is when the man's representatives place a ring on her finger. The representative is usually the man's mother or his sister. The man is also advised not to show up at the woman's house until the ring is worn. A series of exchange conversations usually consists of the elders granting permission to the woman to get engaged to the man. This is where the woman can leave her room and go to the place where the event takes place, for example the living room. The woman was escorted out of her room by her sister and proceeded to pay her respects to the man's mother. The man's mother then officially placed the ring on the woman's finger, signifying that the woman is officially engaged. During this phase, the woman fully experiences a transition of her identity from single to "booked" and finally engaged. The woman felt a different version of herself as she is finally one step closer to solemnity. Furthermore, even at this stage the woman has to balance time for her family and the man's family. She must attend any event or meeting alongside the man and the man must also dedicate his time alongside the woman. They can no longer be selfish and must properly manage their time for each other. This is because their status has changed by being engaged and obstacles must be faced with maturity between boyfriend and girlfriend. This shows that in the pre-liminal stage there is a change in social behavior as one detaches themselves from their previous status. The night before the solemnity is considered an emotional night. The mother came to her daughter's room for a talk containing mostly advice on how to be a good wife and how to handle life after marriage. It is also the moment in which the mother hugs her daughter before she is finally in her husband's hands. This marks the end of the pre-liminal phase as the daughter soon changes her role to that of wife. Moving on to the next stage, before the solemnity begins, the woman is given some steps that must be sworn in front of her. parents and the imam responsible for his akad (solemnity agreement). The passage contains a consent from the woman which allows the imam to take charge of the solemnity on behalf of the woman's father. At this point, the woman would feel emotional and sad as her father willingly released his daughter from his care. Subsequently, the event begins as soon as the man shows up at the woman's house accompanied by his imam and also with his family. Gift trays from the man are also brought to the woman's house, 2000).