They say being a stay at home mom is easy. They say it's not a real job. “What do you do all day?” they ask. I've been a stay-at-home mom for seven years and I can easily tell you that I don't sit at home with a bowl of Cheetos and a glass of wine all day. However, there are moms out there who have other jobs and careers and supposedly do it all. Who hasn't heard the "stay-at-home moms vs. working moms" argument? Which “job” is easier? Which is better for your children's education? Which makes someone a better mom? These questions never asked me until about six years ago, when I was forced to face them. I gave birth to my firstborn, Yvette, when I was twenty. I don't think we quickly realized how much we had in common and we became very good friends. Gloria had two children, who were the same age as my oldest, Yvette, and my youngest, Lauren. She was a speech pathologist, worked full time, and was away from her children for a significant amount of time each day. I was in awe as I watched her jump from client to client and keep up with her motherly duties at the same time. She never missed a beat, but every moment spent with her children was meaningful and full of love. I was so impressed with his parenting style, even though it went against everything I stood for. I was slowly starting to realize that the argument I had been making for years might not be the right one. I was judging too quickly, putting all working moms into a stereotype, just for the sake of being right. But I still wasn't sure which side I was on. Was I really starting to think that being a working mom was, in fact, the healthiest way to parent? Once again I was confused about everything I thought it was. I recently took my first solo vacation with my husband and it made me see everything more clearly. I felt so guilty leaving the girls, but when I came back I realized something. I had nothing to feel guilty about because I wasn't doing anything wrong. My husband and I needed time alone for the sake of our marriage and family. Being happier together has made our children happier and mentally healthier. The same goes for me when I manage to carve out some time for myself during my days. When I am able to take a break and get outside for a while, I come home refreshed and ready to face my children with the right attitude and mindset. Realizing this made me want something I can call my own, so I recently decided to go back to college. I always make sure to keep a cute card waiting for my girls when they come home from school and greet them with a big smile when I walk through the door. I realized that it's not the difference between being with my kids and leaving them, but it's the difference between how I use the time I have with them. I can be with my daughters all day, but if I'm always agitated and nervous, I'm raising them in a hostile environment. If I work all day and come home tired, with little energy to deal with anything at home, I can make them feel lonely and neglected. It's the quality of